There's a story that Isaac Stern, famous violinist, was approached by a fan after a show, gushing "Oh I'd give my life to play like you"...

"Lady", he answered, "I *did* give my life to play like that"....

The purpose of memorial day is to take a pause and remember/honor veterans who gave their lives in service.

No matter what your attitude towards the necessity of war or military as it presents in modern society...

Take a moment and consider how these energies live within you.

We all have our warrior archetype. And if you're reading this, you still have some life force to give.

The warrior fights for what they know is right.

The warrior protects those who cannot protect themselves.

The warrior perseveres in service of freedom, health, dignity, peace.

The warrior faces challenge, pain, risk.... DEATH.

And moves towards their goal anyway.

Historically, Samurai were said to "die before battle" - they contemplated their own death, and surrendered attachment to living, so they could fight even more fiercely.

What are your battles?

Maybe you have a health issue to power through, or a life challenge on "boss mode" hard.

Maybe you want to win an orchestra audition or stabilize your musical career doing what you dream of.

... Perhaps there is a deeply meaningful creative project or passion your soul insists on actualizing.

.... Maybe you are struggling in a toxic relationship to protect your inner child from being overwhelmed.

Whatever it is, your inner WARRIOR is here for you. Cultivate it. Set it loose on something that matters.

Would love to hear what would you or do you set your warrior archetype on?

A bit tongue-in-cheek but definitely rings of truth!

Playing for yourself versus playing for other(s)... aka the root of performance anxiety, and the root of boring performance too.

Imagine: you're with a best friend or beloved family member.

They are going through something serious, maybe an injury or emotional crisis.

Maybe you too feel scared, shocked, uncertain what will happen.

They ask you to make some music.

You begin to sing or play your instrument, and notice:

1) You can express your own anxiety, shock, grief, or concern.

or

2) You can express stability, beauty, reassurance, grace

In situation #1, you are using music to transform your inner experience, to express yourself, to be seen & heard. Music becomes your own medicine.

In situation #2, you are using music to transform someone else's experience, to express support and stability, to give medicine to someone else.

(Of course there are situations 3, 4, and beyond that I won't get into here).

I submit that performance anxiety in part comes from too much focus on #1 - trying to use music performance to be seen, validated, etc. For some inner unmet needs.

Of course expressing yourself matters.

But bringing it into balance by truly serving who you are playing for - externalizing your focus, sensing what is needed in the greater "field" of audience... that's where magic happens.

So many of us practice by ourselves, which becomes a conversation with one's inner critic (or inner coach). Then get good at that.... forgetting that performance is a conversation with the audience, not their critic and not their coach either. Their *being*.

So play, even when you're alone - play for the whole of existence, play to glorify life, play to vibrate a prayer of peace over to warring nations.

Curious what this brings up for folks!

TL;DR on relationships...

So I’ve enjoyed a lot of musical dreams come true...

Multiple full-time symphony jobs.

International tours with San Francisco Symphony, Hong Kong Philharmonic, and more - performing in 20+ countries from Austria to Cuba to Japan to Vietnam (not Zimbabwe tho, yet!)

Exquisite & open hearted jam sessions with diverse high-level musicians.

And I learned something valuable:

It's all about relationships

Dreams come true thanks to relationships.

When I was a young naive horn player, I thought everyone was my competition.

I resented people who could play higher than me, or who had more audition success.

I wanted to know how I could “get” what I wanted.

I practiced my ass off and tried to prove myself.

But I got so nervous in performances and auditions, that I couldn’t get into music school.

I struggled to even make it through a band solo.

Eventually, I saw the most successful musicians around me were happy, connected with each other.

Were they happy and connected because of their success?

Or were they successful because they brought an attitude of gratitude and collaboration?

...

I started to realize we musicians are all just family.

I began to ask for and receive more help...

and offer my own presence and insights for the benefit of other musicians.

...

Thriving emerged

…

FYI this transformation began long ago at Aspen Music Festival 2005.

After crashing in the placement auditions, I went into a self-loathing tantrum so intense it took days to recover.

But by the end of the festival, I was forever changed by the camaraderie.

…

I was able to win my first orchestra job because the brilliant Jeff Nelsen took me under his wing, even though I wasn’t formally enrolled at Indiana U anymore.

My colleagues in Macao were tremendous allies in preparing for Hong Kong Philharmonic.

I couldn’t have won that job without their support

As my career advanced, yes I continued to practice like a fanatic....

Almost every major opportunity I’ve enjoyed in life was either surfaced, supported, or substantially made easier because of friendships or connections of some kind.

Not in a toxic Machiavellian way.

Not in a weird nepotistic way.

Just from paying attention and being caring, open, and naturally reciprocal.

Where would you like to go in life these days?

(And if you think our relationship can be a support, let me know!)

photo from a beautiful afternoon of quintet music in Hawaii

I’m always learning about learning, and today practicing a 4-part approach to teaching: Why, what, how, what-if…

Culinary Alchemy/Sacred cooking - food prep as prayer. It's a peachy passion when I'm not fasting !

Why?

Adds a whole new dimension to the food you make.

Haven't you ever just "tasted the love" in grandma's cooking?

I believe that food crafted with intention, prayer, and presence can be tremendously more nourishing - and a powerful way to co-create beautiful moments....

Even if it's just placebo, why not leverage that massive power?

(After all, the force behind placebo can heal cancer and create phantom pregnancies)

Once I made a very intentional Chia Pudding for a party. Nobody knew that I had blessed it up 1000x over.

But soon enough, people were raving about it. Someone I had never met before told me “wow, I FEEL your love in this!” (and we ended up dating after that)

I’m convinced that culinary alchemy is worth the extra effort.

What it is

Don't just focus on the physical ingredients of the food you make, or the dimensions of what you are chopping.

Sacred cooking involves focusing on the emotional, energetic, or intangible qualities you want to include as the "ingredients" of this meal.

The history goes far back. Anybody with exposure to a plant medicine lineage knows that the brews are prayed over for hours.

Culinary alchemist Serena Poon (who btw cooks for celebrities like Puff Daddy!) says:

"In my practice of culinary alchemy, I teach people that the energy and the thoughts you put into your food preparation can directly affect the energetic vibration of the food, as well as how your body receives it. So while you’re cooking, think about how the meal you are preparing will nourish you and your family and keep you healthy and your immune system strong.”

It goes far beyond that though. "Culinary Alchemy" can include intuitive ingredient choosing, expression of subtle energy, and even spellcasting of sorts!

How to get sacred in the kitchen

Some strategies I recommend are as follows.

Ask for guidance on what ingredients will be most nourishing to you and whoever you’re cooking for.

Example dimensions: more raw or cooked foods? Animal protein or not? Warm or cold?

(double bonus: use muscle testing or other strategies to access intuition/subconscious guidance)

Drop into presence and move intentionally as you gather the ingredients.

Connect with your breath, move with the kind of energies you want to put into the meal.

Peel & chop mindfully with deep presence.

Infuse intentions into each ingredient. Get creative!

What do those beautiful pink Himalayan salt crystals remind you of?

For me, I associate salt with divine feminine. And I invoke the divine masculine with black pepper.

Each ingredient gets a special energy.

Maybe it’s just “nourishment”, or maybe you make those carrots all about “bright healthy sacral chakra connection”

Speak out loud the energies you invoke.

Vocalize! Use your powerful tool of breath and sound to literally vibrate the food in front of you.

Use generative words: invocations, intentions, mantras, positively phrased and spoken with emotion!

Use your hands to touch the food!

Our hands have incredible healing and energetic potential.

Especially for salads and raw foods, massage the food, rub it with your (well-washed) hands and fingers, treat it like you would your favorite person.

Geometry & plating opportunities

Remember you can get creative and artistic with how you present the food too.

You can include words of affirmation - I like to put sticky notes or index cards near the plates.

What if? Aka objections…

What if this is all just useless wishful thinking?

- Cultivating a state of being through presence and intention is never useless

- Why not try it and see how you like it?

What if I don’t know what energies to choose?

- Trust yourself. Desire is always ready to be listened to. Try with just one word if you’re feeling stuck.

What if I’m just following a recipe?

- Even better! Relax into being super present, appreciative, and intentional about each ingredient and quantity!

What if!

Curious how this post lands with y’all - do you like this 4 phase approach?

Do you practice culinary alchemy? Or think it’s a bunch of woo-woo hogwash?

Not trying to egg you on, but orange you glad we live in a time of such possibility???

Some of you already know that I water fast most Mondays.

Sunday night not too late I have a nice reasonable meal, and then upon waking and throughout Monday I just drink water, maybe a little coffee, and not more than 50 calories worth of MCT oil or grassfed butter.

Come 5 or 6pm-ish, I do about an hour of heavy strength training, and then feed the beast.

Mondays are incredibly productive:

I don't have to worry about cooking, eating, or cleaning.

My energy level stays consistent.

I don't go to the fridge when I'm feeling lost.

.... (if I could add up all the hours I've spent walking to the fridge when I feel lost, opening it up, looking for salvation...)

One day per week of consciously abstaining from food means that the rest of the week, I'm more mindful of my eating habits and simply more grateful that I get to eat.

This weekly cadence not only starts me off with tremendous momentum towards my week's goals, but affirms my discipline, dedication to health, and helps me have faith that I continue moving towards my fitness goals.

Fasting is something we are all built to do.

Think back to the days before we hunted at Whole Foods... [the only hunting I do now is for bargains on organic produce!]

We didn't necessarily have abundantly available 3 meals a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

We had to run, fight, or at least walk sometimes many miles before finding nourishment.

Exercising before eating seems to have substantial scientifically validated effects on metabolism, nutrient partitioning, etc., and I just think that's really cool!

If any of you have favorite studies on nutrient partitioning, fasted workouts, etc., I'm starting to compile so please share.

Give a shout if you do any form of fasting! How, why, when, and to what effect?

And I've got friends who are doing some kinda accountability group around it, so if that's something you want support with, I'm happy to make connections for you.

As requested 6 steps to manage overwhelm

1. BECOME AWARE YOU'RE OVERWHELMED. Without awareness, you can't do shit. Just acknowledge, accept, and even approve that you are feeling overwhelmed for the moment. [Things are about to change anyway]

2. TAKE 5 DEEP CONSCIOUS BREATHS. It's okay, you have time to take 5 breaths. This will help reset your nervous system and prepare you to restore effectiveness.

3. BREAK IT DOWN. Overwhelm indicates too much is going on for your system to handle. Make it manageable by breaking it down. Make a long to do list... write down all the emotions you are feeling (overwhelm is always just the top layer of other emotions)... figure out what's going on and figure out how to wrap your mind around it.

4. DETERMINE A STRATEGY. Prioritize your todo list and figure out what/when/how you will get some things done; or decide on a way you are going to move through your emotions; or decide you will reach out to friends until someone can talk (i recommend you maintain a list of "people I can reach out to for support" so that you don't have to think through this when you are overwhelmed). If you are in a somatic bind (e.g. your nervous system is fucked), your strategy should involve some kind of reset. If you're really hungry/sleepy, your strategy should involve food/rest.

5. SUBMIT! DO IT! Execute on the strategy. It's that simple. Surrender to what comes. Allow the overwhelm to shift. All is well

6. REFLECT. You may or may not do a 100% perfect job of handling the overwhelm. That's okay. What's most important is that you tried some steps, and learned something. After you follow these steps, reflect. What worked? What didn't? What will you do differently this time? If you make a small improvement every time you run into overwhelm, it will soon enough be an easily manageable and rare occurrence.

First person to try this strategy when they are actually overwhelmed, will win a personalized 1 min french horn serenade video!

Tagging everyone who expressed interest in the strategy. And thanks Meg Southern for co-brainstorming these steps!

May peace be with you!

On how we speak to those in our lives: "The language of the soul always enhances relationships".

My coach said that to me last week.

The language of the soul... what that means to me is if I really get still, tune in with myself, and access some deeper or more "global" part that I've learned to call "my soul". Call it higher self, doesn't matter.

When I speak from this place, it enhances relationships.

When my language - or even my tone of voice - does not create harmony or enhance relationships, I can be sure that I'm not speaking from a place of my deepest truth.

So that's a simple barometer.

Is what I'm saying, or is my tone of voice, drawing love towards me or pushing it away?

If it's the latter, time to take a pause, connect with the soul! Speak from there. Enhance relationships.

At the end of the day, the quality of our relationships is a huge factor in happiness, fulfillment, and meaning.

What are your approaches to using your voice to create closeness in relationships?