Playing for yourself versus playing for other(s)... aka the root of performance anxiety, and the root of boring performance too.

Imagine: you're with a best friend or beloved family member.

They are going through something serious, maybe an injury or emotional crisis.

Maybe you too feel scared, shocked, uncertain what will happen.

They ask you to make some music.

You begin to sing or play your instrument, and notice:

1) You can express your own anxiety, shock, grief, or concern.

or

2) You can express stability, beauty, reassurance, grace

In situation #1, you are using music to transform your inner experience, to express yourself, to be seen & heard. Music becomes your own medicine.

In situation #2, you are using music to transform someone else's experience, to express support and stability, to give medicine to someone else.

(Of course there are situations 3, 4, and beyond that I won't get into here).

I submit that performance anxiety in part comes from too much focus on #1 - trying to use music performance to be seen, validated, etc. For some inner unmet needs.

Of course expressing yourself matters.

But bringing it into balance by truly serving who you are playing for - externalizing your focus, sensing what is needed in the greater "field" of audience... that's where magic happens.

So many of us practice by ourselves, which becomes a conversation with one's inner critic (or inner coach). Then get good at that.... forgetting that performance is a conversation with the audience, not their critic and not their coach either. Their *being*.

So play, even when you're alone - play for the whole of existence, play to glorify life, play to vibrate a prayer of peace over to warring nations.

Curious what this brings up for folks!