TL;DR on relationships...

So I’ve enjoyed a lot of musical dreams come true...

Multiple full-time symphony jobs.

International tours with San Francisco Symphony, Hong Kong Philharmonic, and more - performing in 20+ countries from Austria to Cuba to Japan to Vietnam (not Zimbabwe tho, yet!)

Exquisite & open hearted jam sessions with diverse high-level musicians.

And I learned something valuable:

It's all about relationships

Dreams come true thanks to relationships.

When I was a young naive horn player, I thought everyone was my competition.

I resented people who could play higher than me, or who had more audition success.

I wanted to know how I could “get” what I wanted.

I practiced my ass off and tried to prove myself.

But I got so nervous in performances and auditions, that I couldn’t get into music school.

I struggled to even make it through a band solo.

Eventually, I saw the most successful musicians around me were happy, connected with each other.

Were they happy and connected because of their success?

Or were they successful because they brought an attitude of gratitude and collaboration?

...

I started to realize we musicians are all just family.

I began to ask for and receive more help...

and offer my own presence and insights for the benefit of other musicians.

...

Thriving emerged

…

FYI this transformation began long ago at Aspen Music Festival 2005.

After crashing in the placement auditions, I went into a self-loathing tantrum so intense it took days to recover.

But by the end of the festival, I was forever changed by the camaraderie.

…

I was able to win my first orchestra job because the brilliant Jeff Nelsen took me under his wing, even though I wasn’t formally enrolled at Indiana U anymore.

My colleagues in Macao were tremendous allies in preparing for Hong Kong Philharmonic.

I couldn’t have won that job without their support

As my career advanced, yes I continued to practice like a fanatic....

Almost every major opportunity I’ve enjoyed in life was either surfaced, supported, or substantially made easier because of friendships or connections of some kind.

Not in a toxic Machiavellian way.

Not in a weird nepotistic way.

Just from paying attention and being caring, open, and naturally reciprocal.

Where would you like to go in life these days?

(And if you think our relationship can be a support, let me know!)

photo from a beautiful afternoon of quintet music in Hawaii